Things I learned from my daughter

2013 flew by with my pregnancy and the first few months of taking care of our daughter. For the longest time, I haven't posted a "real" post aside from a few pictures in my lame attempt to keep updated. I'll tell you one thing though, I'm grateful for this year-long maternity leave that I have had the privilege to enjoy. I'm nearing the half year mark with Arianne turning six months just a few days from now and already I feel like she's taught me so much more about life than I ever would have learned otherwise. Here are some of the things I've learned from my daughter. 

1. We do need at least 10 hours of sleep. Other new moms will smack me in the head for saying this, but I have been so lucky my daughter has been a good sleeper since she was three months old. Mind you, she's a light sleeper (like me) but she would sleep straight through from 10pm to 7am. She'll feed, then go right back to sleep until 10 (so it's more like 12 hours!) I know, I know 10 pm as bedtime is a little bit late but I've discovered if she sleeps just an hour earlier, she wakes up earlier than when Mr. Pearls actually needs to get up for work. With bouts of momsomnia here and there, I do try to sleep at the same time as her and because I have the luxury to sleep in, I never felt more refreshed and well rested. Having Arianne forced me to sleep at 10 instead of my normal 11-12ish bedtime before we had her. Before maternity leave, if I get four hours of sleep, I can call myself lucky. How is it that I get more sleep now than when I was working even when I had five days off every four days?? Of course, I can't say this will still be true when I get back to work. 

2. Eating better is not hard. Now that she's eating and exploring new foods, I get so excited with making her food from scratch and it's teaching me to eat better too. We've eaten more vegetables and fruits recently than we've ever had before. Not only that, it's getting easier to realize, you really don't need that extra sugar (or salt, or butter). And butternut squash is really good for you. I never realized how much preservatives and bad ingredients I put in my body until now. With Arianne, we're making healthier food choices as well. 

3. I can be an awesome multi-tasker. Not that I wasn't before, but I've learned some new skills. Editing or knitting while breastfeeding, cooking/dishwasing with one hand. It's harder because I got her used to being carried all the time, but really, she's only a baby for so long. Soon enough, she will walk and explore and try new things without me around. I carried her for nine months, what's another year? Mr. Pearls actually thinks I have the mommy grizzly bear syndrome. That I'll pounce on anyone who tries to take my baby away. I do but I think I'm getting better :P

4. The mess can wait. So the dishes are not done and the bed's not made. This used to be my biggest pet peeve but I learned that there are other things more important than keeping the house clean. With Arianne around, we are getting better at prioritizing and appreciating when chores do get done. 

5. Save for a rainy day. A lot of people say it's so expensive to have a baby, so many unexpected expenses and I guess it's true in a way. We bought many big ticket items in preparation for her birth, but otherwise, I found we were saving much more now than we ever did when I was working and getting full pay. Strange huh? I guess before we were a little bit more careless when it comes to buying things for ourselves and now, we think a little bit more before buying something. 

6. I can beatbox! Arianne gets so amused with sounds that I've learned a few tricks to make her laugh. Not that I would qualify for a beatboxing competition or something, but hearing her squeal in laughter is enough. 

7. Giggles are contagious. Just try and keep a straight face with a giggling baby. I think you'll know what I mean. 

8. Appreciate more. When I think about how everything she encounters is new for her, I learn to appreciate things more as well. The first time I washed her (which is like the first time I ever washed a baby even though I have washed so many babies in my profession), that first dip in the pool, the first big snowstorm of the season, her first big road trip...these things we've done before suddenly have more value. I don't think I've ever seen the world in such light until now. 

9. Pray more. Arianne was an answered prayer. For years we waited for her and now that she's here, I find a more prayerful/grateful version of myself. 

10. Love without getting tired. I don't mean to sound all Mother Teresa-ish but one of the things I learned is to love more and be less selfish. When I was pregnant with Arianne, her little kicks and flutters gave me such a reassuring feeling, I couldn't help but ask for more when she was born. Let me explain. When she was little, I would cuddle with her and hold her and sometimes I would think, "if only she'll smile more and touch me more, then all the sleepless nights (which were not many) would be worth it". But of course, she is too young to really understand how much her little smiles or tiny squeals of laughter brings us so much joy. Now, at almost six months, she is so much more capable of showing her affection. She'll hold my face, gives me the best random gummy smiles, giggles when I kiss her cheeks, babbles to get my attention when I'm focusing on the computer too much (like now!). Oh, I could go on and on. I love how interactive she is now and I still can't believe I get to be with her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I mean, seriously how can you not love this face???

Thank you, Arianne for all the life lessons. Someday, when you're older, I hope I can teach you some things as well the way you have taught me. I can't wait for our brighter future together. 

Feeling chivalrous?

It's interesting to see how many people will actually give up their seat on the train for a pregnant woman. Jumped on a packed train this morning, and while I wasn't expecting anyone to give up their seat, it's amusing to see how many people a. avert their eyes, pretend not to see you b. looks then goes right back to sleep c. looks at you but responds with totally unaffected demeanour. I guess we all have to accept at one point that chivalry is indeed, dead. 

I've been guilty of this too, I must admit. After a tiring 12-hour night shift, the last thing on my mind would be to give up my seat. Although, occasionally I would if I see someone who needs it more than I do. Isn't it nicer to be refused than to be branded unsympathetic? 

Oh and I did get a seat eventually. From an older woman who was about two stops away from her destination. What does that say about you, young man in red backwards cap? Yes, you!?! 

Anyway, have a lovely Tuesday! 

Updated...

The train ride from my obstetrician got me thinking about where I was mentally and emotionally about the same time last year. It took so long before this miracle happened, I'm just happy I'm now seeing an OB instead of my fertility doctor. 

After about a year of failed fertility treatments, I couldn't help but feel resentment. I see so many people not having any difficulty conceiving and we were still trying for a miracle that was starting to look further and further away. 

I was stuck in a rut. At one point, i questioned whether it will still happen for us. I couldn't help thinking why certain things happened the way they did...why I was still waiting for this time to come. In my profession I have brought so many new lives in this world, yet I was still waiting for my turn. I prayed for God to only give me what He has planned for me, to help me accept things I cannot change. I know God had a plan and I just need to be patient. And of course, eventually I started to see what it was. All I really needed was time. So if in doubt, pray. God always provides. 

Blogger App 😊

Hello, blogger friends! 

Long time no anything! I just realized Blogger has launched a mobile app which would allow me to do more frequent postings since I'm always on my phone and on the go. It's been a crazy two months since my last post and I wish there was a way to somehow summarize everything that went on but I guess here's a short recap!

Instagram was such a fun way to keep track of my pregnancy updates and I keep thinking how much easier it will be to put everything together at the end of all this. 

Photography wise, we've done a few shoots here and there which we've obviously has not had a chance to post. Pregnancy has kept me so preoccupied (and the fact that posting on Blogger was not the easiest or most convenient). Anyway, I'm hoping this change to mobile blogging will keep us more likely to update ☺ 

Happy long weekend, y'all! 

Sneak Peek!

A wedding done, and a baby shoot! I've been off for almost 11 days, but they were busy nevertheless. We had a wedding shoot last week and managed to go away for a short holiday/camping with friends and a really cute baby shoot I can't wait to share with all of you. For now, here's a sneak peek of Krystal and Cliff's wedding last Friday =)

and here's some instagramized photos from our super fun camping weekend in Tobermory =)

 

Featured Blog: August Empress

I have a new favourite blog. Found August Empress through How About Orange and really fell in love with her watercolour designs and illustrations. She also has tons of freebies available for download at her site. Check out some of the cool stuff from her blog. 

 Love this heart tree!

All images from August Empress. No copyright infringement intended. Please don't use without owner's permission.

back from Chi-town!

I could have sworn I posted an entry before our Chicago trip but I guess I must have forgotten to publish. Hmmm. Strange and slightly annoying. I am now picture-less and post-less haha. Anyway, I had an awesome time! (Note: I said "I" had an awesome time. I can't speak for Mr. Pearls who was probably annoyed at my crazy fan-girl phase). Again, too bad I can't post pictures and I can't link it either because the web browser at work is so old. I can't even format this post properly. Oh well. I have a few days off in the next little while so hopefully all of these technological issues will get resolved.

As I was saying, I was in awe of Chicago! What a beautiful city. Love the old buildings and beautiful architecture. Love the picturesque parks and quite striking landmarks. Love the rows and rows of flowering trees, cherry blossom and semi-NYC but cleaner feel of the city. It's a shame we were only there for a little bit because I would have loved to stay and take more pictures. I think our rushed/distracted tour of the city did not quite do justice in capturing the beauty of this city. So needless to say, we'll definitely be back. Chicago future bride and grooms, please invite us soon! We would love to visit your beautiful city again!

At the end of it all, I made new friends. How often do you go away and get to meet amazing individuals who are just as dedicated (and slightly crazy haha) as you are? It was truly an amazing experience. I will tell you more about it shortly when I'm not as distracted. Although, for those individuals looking for some M&G pictures, they will be up shortly. Email me at adrianandjanaphotography@gmail.com and I will email you the details of how to access the gallery and the very secret gallery password. *wink*

Happy Wednesday, y'all!

**UPDATE** a SNEAK PEEK!

Chicago bound!

Hello! Still haven't resolved my picture-lessness haha. Attempting to mobile blog while road tripping to the Windy City -- Chicago! Been planning to visit for quite awhile but haven't had the chance until now that an opportunity presented itself. Hitting two birds with one stone :-))....and it's been difficult trying to contain my excitement. I'll give you more details in the coming days. Thank God for technological devices, or I don't think I will survive these long trips. Although, I am easily amused ☺

Next two weeks we'll be starting spring engagement sessions....signs that wedding season will soon be here! I can't wait to go out and shoot more specially cause we'll be seeing cherry blossoms soon! If not for spring allergies, this would have been my favorite season! Anyway,I tried attaching a link to my instagram as I've recently posted some of my favorite pictures from our recent maternity shoot. If you can't see the picture, visit my instagram page.

Happy Friday!

time, i've been passing time...

Hey there. Still stuck in my picture-less paradise! Too bad I can't share new pictures with you because our first maternity set is beautiful. I love how this particular set is turning out to be. Hopefully in the next few weeks, I'll be able to share new pictures with you again =)

Here's a sneak peek... This is the instagram version so the bokeh filter is not really a part of the final edit. I was just having fun with it =)

By the way, we're visiting the beautiful city of Chicago next week and I'm so excited. I can't tell you yet why we're going but what's guaranteed is we're gonna have a great time. I just know it. I hope it's not such a short trip because we would have loved to offer photo sessions to interested Chicago residents particularly, a couple who's interested in having their photos taken by two out-of-town wedding photographers. Love if we can combine the two things we love to do (photography and travel) and make a living out of that. Anyway, I will update you as the date gets closer. 

Happy Thursday! 

how are you??

I wish blogging was as easy as instagramming. I'm a little (a lot) frustrated that mobile blogging won't let me add photos and some days, I don't really have much to say...just pictures to share :) Anyway, today was a running errands kind of day despite the fact that it's crazy -20C feeling outdoors today. Had an awesome time hanging out with my best friend's new baby and taking random outdoor shots with my iPod. If you want to see how my day went in pictures, follow me on Instagram. My handle: janapearls.

Follow at your own risk! I post 4-6 pictures a day which might be annoying haha (at least I recognize my Instagram addiction haha) especially on my days off. I love how it keeps me occupied and I get so amused wih new photo editing filters.

How's your Monday?

Minerva turns 7

Our friend's recording and production studio is turning 7! If you're looking for something fun to do tonight, come join us at Trane Studio, 964 Bathurst Street and enjoy some local talents and good music. 

my week in instagram

Hi. 8 days no post, huh? Seems weird even for me.

How are you?

If you're not following my fangirl craziness on Twitter (follow at your own risk! don't say I didn't warn you :P), or my newfound Instagram addiction, it does feel like I have been out of the loop for awhile. One thing though, I've finished all the editing. Woohoo! Now off to bookmaking, and new appointments =) Love the fact that we've started offering beautifully crafted lay-flat books. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing our work in print. My secret wish is that I can keep a copy of it all because nothing makes me happier than seeing our hard work come out so nicely. Have you ordered yours yet??

Spent the weekend bonding with my bestfriend. We haven't done that for awhile and I had a great time bonding, baking and laughing over cake and tea. Here's a baby shower cake order I helped her decorate. It's so cool to find a friend who likes the same thing as you do. She inspires me to be better everyday. In between taking care of her new baby and attempting to watch a much loved soap opera, it was a girls' weekend we both needed. Speaking of need, need a custom cake for your next event? Visit www.cakerolls.ca =)

Spent Family Day driving around Toronto, eating Korean barbecue and watching a movie with Mr. Pearls. 

                            

....and mostly, busy with instagraming my favourite old photos =)

Hope your week is as interesting as mine! Happy (rainy) Friday!

just as I am...

I gotta say, I had a slow start this 2012. The funny thing is, I didn't really feel the year starting until just recently and it's already February. I've been going through something personally, and it was hard for me to admit it even to myself. Somehow, I feel that the moment I open up about something negative, people will automatically think I'm having problems with my relationship with Mr. Pearls, which was not the case at all. If anything, the fact that he understood me through all the difficulties was what helped me through it all.

So funny. For the first time in a long time, I had no motivation to try anything new. Maybe the fact that I was also getting less and less sun had something to do with it. Even then Mr. Pearls had been supportive and showed much empathy. Reminded me of a line from JM's song, "would you want me when I'm not myself?". I guess the answer was an unwavering "Yes".

I've spent a great deal of my teens and early twenties with much sadness and self doubt, the uncertainty I was feeling didn't seem so unfamiliar. Unlike my younger self however, I had much hope that no matter how convoluted everything seemed, I knew things will get better. And they did. The window of opportunity was given to me and just like that, I feel hopeful about the future again. There's much to be thankful for if you stopped enough to look around you. I realized most people only ever think about asking for things they want to have without really realizing that maybe they have taken for granted the things they do have. I am guilty of this as well, and now grateful for my new perspective.

So February feels like the start of my new year. I've even managed to change something else I didn't do last year through the encouragement of Mr. Pearls ---get a gym membership. I know!? Sounds too crazy for someone who hasn't really done any serious working out in her life. I can't deny how much I love to eat, as evidenced by my many food posts and I know even with my love and hate relationship with food, age will slowly catch up to me. So this is definitely a step in the right direction. I've agreed to pay biweekly so hopefully I won't end up wasting it. I have gone once last week so yey me! Although, I must admit, I'm a little nervous about sharing this information with anyone because I don't want to be judged in the coming weeks regarding progress. As much as possible, I want to do it on my own phase and timeline. I just want to be more active than I was before so hopefully it won't be too bad. The idea of a physical assessment though, creeps me out a little bit. I feel like I'm gonna be tested on a subject I have never studied. If they force a personal trainer on me, I might not be able to say no. Yikes! We'll see :) I think more than anything, I'm scared to find out what my real body fat content really is. Probably more than I should have. Haha! Oh well, the main thing is, I am hopeful and motivated and that I have a Mr. Pearls who loves me just as I am, with extra pounds or not.

strings of memories

True confession: Fact. I did a bit of songwriting as a teen. At fifteen, I fell in love with my sister's guitar. We just connected in ways I cannot explain. Three years later, when I was old enough to apply for credit, it was my very first big ticket item. I had some very poignant moments with my guitar (which I called John, don't ask :P) --- more meaningful than any relationship I had had at that time. I can't say I was very good, but I taught myself how to play out of passion. My calloused fingers, pages and pages of words I had intended to use in songs, and my overworked guitar were proof.

I told myself it didn't matter that I was never very good at it and the only thing that mattered was that it was a form of self-expression. It was a way to pour out my most intimate feelings and emotions. I think the reason we've spent so much time together was because unlike a real person who could be harsh and judgmental, John sat with me through it all -- good or bad, happy or sad. I was very insecure and protective about my songs. I protected it much like a diary, with no witnesses but my tape recorder.

As the era of social networking marched in, I got involved with a creative group of people who were very much interested in getting their voice (and talents) heard. I was very hesitant at first in sharing with the world my most intimate thoughts and feelings. I resisted their invitations at first as I needed first to convince myself that it was okay for me to share what I had written in privacy. When I was finally able put myself out there, wore my heart on a sleeve so to speak, I was overwhelmed by the reception (and I can't deny being patronized sometimes, because for me, it still wasn't good enough). Don't get me wrong, it was a great experience. In fact, knowing I will somehow share them with someone made me want to play the guitar better, write better.

I met an amazing group of talented people whose passion for music and the arts were comparable to mine. This amazing group of people were the same ones that led me to Mr. Pearls. The long nights, that time of coffee houses and acoustic sets were a significant part of my life. (If you're ever interested in looking them up, check out MStudio)

A good friend had told me that one of my songs was played at the end of a TV production aimed for a local television show. It's a multicultural network so I don't actually expect you to find it in circulation and I never saw it myself, so I can't really vouch for it. It sounds promising in retrospect, although I was told that no credits were written or given to me. It saddens me because I know my song was not the greatest hit or what have you, but I don't understand how anyone can just use it without even asking for permission, or giving me a little bit of credit. Truth be told, I didn't even want to have that song released because first of all, I wrote that song in my teens, when I was on the verge of my first heartbreak. I had one foot out the door, and undecided about the outcome of what turned out to be a disastrous relationship. I didn't like the final edit because it wasn't how I had written it originally. A refrain was added which in my opinion didn't really go with how I wanted the song to be. But anyway, after all that it's out there and apparently being used without my knowledge. No, I'm not gonna tell you the title of the song, because it is out there and I'd be embarrassed to have to explain my mindset when it was written. Part of me is relieved because the song being used without credit to me will not automatically link it back to me, but at the same time, I hold on to this song just like a treasured memory I preferred to have kept in the pages of my diary.

This reminded me of The Meantime Girl article I wrote that became a popular forwarded message without my knowledge. I still think about it from time to time because it is a memory that meant a great deal to me and is now just being randomly passed around without care. Oh well. I guess a lesson in giving credit when credit is due is wayyy overdue. 

for real, this time....

So, a funny thing happened on the way to the airport. I know, I know. We're supposed to be on the beach, digging our heels into the sand and sipping margaritas, and yet we're stuck here instead. We're, I guess, what you'd call.....grounded.

I remember attempting to scan A's passport in one of those kiosks to get a boarding pass and wondering why it kept coming up as error. As I scanned it again the second time, I noticed a backwards Sept. 11, and it suddenly occured to me, I can't remember the last time we checked our passport's expiration date.  And true enough, A's passport is expired! Imagine my horror! But I think in all honesty, we handled it like mature individuals seeing how this was an honest mistake. We were at the passport office on a Saturday to get him a new one. So yes, we had to say goodbye to T&C. For now.

I guess it was arrogant of us to assume to always be good for travelling as we've never had problems before. So, lesson of the day: Always check your passport!!

We are rebooked for December though =) But enough of that, I'm actually excited about our nth trip to NYC for a very special conference. We'll be attending this:

source

It's the biggest event for wedding photographers and we're just ecstatic to meet fellow wedding photographers and learn from industry experts. We'll also hopefully be able to find a photo book company to make flushmount albums for us. This is something we've been trying to add to our roster of products for some time. I can't wait to share with all of you our exciting time in NYC so stay tuned =) We're leaving tonight as soon as we pick up A's passport.

families are the compass

Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter 

- Brad Henry

The great thing about Modern Family is, no matter how chaotic and crazy everyone gets, no matter how different and incompatible everyone was, in the end what mattered was how much they really loved each other.

Everyone should have that. We owe it to ourselves.

end of summer

 The highlight of our summer was our first ferris wheel ride. Not just together, but ever. It's funny how it happened that two almost 30-somethings have never been on a ferris wheel before, but that's how it was for us.

The cold breeze is upon us; announcing summer's inevitable end. Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted =)

an elephant never forgets

"You know... they say, an elephant never forgets

What they don't tell you is, you never forget an elephant."
- Bill Murray, Larger than Life

I just realized, one of my favourite animals are elephants. I want one! =) What beautiful creatures!

hello strangers, want an instax??

Hello strangers. I haven't been here for so long, I can't help but feel oddly detached. Anyway, I hope you're all out there enjoying this glorious summer and doing more interestings than me (than I? I'm sure this is the grammatically correct version. Oh well!). I've been so tired lately trying to get sleep in the middle of window renovations. Working nights does not help at all as I come home attempting to sleep, while workers are banging away without a care in the world. Of course, it's not their fault as they were only doing what they were paid to do. It's just bad timing, unfortunately for me.

Dust and debris and no curtains or blinds have prevented me from cooking anything that resembles a meal. Aside from feeling exposed, I just can't stand the mess at home, the furniture in disarray and everything in utter chaos. I don't know if it's the mess, or the fact that I haven't been so wifely lately, but we've also been fighting an awful lot lately. I shouldn't say fighting, I guess more like bickering. But still. In fact today, we almost broke the "no-fighting-before-bedtime" rule, as I left the house for a night shift without resolution though he knew I will not be seeing him until tomorrow. But of course, knowing how we've always been, he's bbm'd me already with a sorry and a sad face which made me feel guilty because today's debacle was partly my fault and due to my stubborness and incessant need to be right. This said, I know I have some making up to do. Still can't believe sometimes how lucky I am to have such a loving husband.

He used to say, "messy house, messy mind" and I always thought this was bull. I guess he was right.

Anyway, we're taking a photography class together this summer. We haven't been able to go away and do anything due to our work and photography commitments, so it'll be fun to do something different together for a change. I'm also thinking of taking other courses to fill my immeasurable free time. I don't really have that much free time, but it's nice to think of it that way. Hopefully we'll get to do some field work and take some artistic stuff to show you guys. A few more weddings are coming up and soon enough, we'll be busy again trying to catch up. But I do hope I can whip up some cooking/wedding/crafty posts for you next week. We're cleaning these weekend and hopefully get rid of the debris that's been clouding my mind and judgement for a few days now.

Whenever I feel bad about myself, I always feel like I have to do something nice to give back, so here it is. We love this camera so much I want to give someone a chance to win this camera to share the love. All you have to do is send us your favorite summer photo taken by yourself. You can edit it anyway you want it as long as no actualy parts of the photo are altered or changed (like placing the Eiffel Tower in the background to make it seem like you're in Paris). I won't really know if you did something outrageous like that, but I expect you to be honest =) I guess I should have a deadline, otherwise, this giveaway will go on for too long. Let's just say the deadline will be September 30, 2011 to submit your summer photos to adrianandjanaphotography@gmail.com. We will announce the winner on October 20, 2011 to give us time to decide who the deserving winner is. So, what are you waiting for?? Send us your photos soon and win this!

Photo from Photojojo Store

Oh and I'm throwing in instant film with 20 exposures just for fun.

Enjoy your weekend!

summer lovin'

Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.  

~Jean de la Bruyere

Spent the long weekend visiting my brother and his family in Delaware. Love these photos I've taken of his kids! Back when they were younger, I had the chance to play mommy with his girls and I was so lucky to have had the chance to spend as much time with them the way I did. You can almost feel Janey's happiness in this picture. Love, love, love!

It was a great long weekend spent with my best friend's family as well. It's been awhile since we had a road trip together. If I'm not mistaken, it's been at least a couple of years ago. Rory is such a happy kid. He was hesitant to play with the hippo (the sprinkler) and yet he couldn't hide his happiness in this picture. It was a hot day and this couldn't have been more refreshing. I almost wanted to join and and play in the water with them. 

Some random pictures taken this summer. I guess being a summer baby, I can't hide how much I love summer. 

i guess i just miss my friend

"Sometimes it makes me sad, though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."

- Shawshank Redemption

Miss you, Meng.