post-bahamas blues

I'm feeling a little blue but this picture always make me smile. Taken during our cruise to Bahamas. The Javiers singing "Happy Birthday" to birthday girl, sis Jilen.

Yes, the water really is that clear. I miss Bahamas!

cake trippin'

Back from our Bahamas trip, A and I were badly craving for cruise-ship-like desserts and so here it goes:

I know! How beautiful is this cake? I can't remember what it's called but it has shaves of white chocolate with chocolate drizzles and layers of white vanilla cake with strawberry and white chocolate icing. Delicious! It's just like one of the layers of our wedding cake. Yes, the one we didn't really get to taste except for that one time we cut through it for pictures. Anyway, apparently one wasn't enough for us so we bought another one!

This one is a chocolate truffle cake and it tastes just as delicious as it sounds. I almost forgot how much I love cake! More yummy pictures!

Can you tell I couldn't wait to cut through it before we could take pictures??

Another thing we were craving for was nachos and dips. I know, I know! Cake and nachos soo do not go together, but what the hey! It's midnight and we needed snacks =) Look, how good it looks!

And the layers, mmmmmm......

Sooooo good! Anyway, enough about food. Thank You cards are calling! So much for trying to eat healthy!

love love, love!

Two more days to Bahamas, baby!

I guess it would be an understatement to say I'm looking forward to this much needed vacation. I'm going crazy with stress at work and all the undone "Thank You's" are staring at me when I get home, screaming " Finish me! Finish me!" Aaaahhhhh!! I'm exaggerating but what the heck!

On a happy note, silly things like these make me smile =)

don't you love heart shaped ice-cube makers from IKEA???

the search for the best shake-shack-like-burger

I know, I know. Just a few days ago, I've nothing but good intentions with regards to healthy eating but our recent trip to NYC has awoken something in me....and I don't even eat burgers! Feast your eyes on this: without a doubt, the best burger I've ever had....

the shack stack from shake shack

Believe it or not. People actually line up for this babies. We waited for two hours in line, just to devour this juicy beefy goodness. You can check out the line up here through their live webcam in real time! Cool, huh?

So what's so good about the shack stack?? Let me start with the breaded portobello mushrooms in between the juiciest, crunchiest slab of beef I've ever tasted with just the right combination of cheese, lettuce and tomatoes that can make you forget the amount of calories you've ingested. Magical? I think so!

Anyway, so I've been craving burgers these days (and no! for the nth time, I am not pregnant!! - just in case your wondering, like most people!) and A and I are on a quest to find the best burger place in Toronto. Our first destination---

No particular reason. It just happens that there's one near our place so we decided to check it out. Here is what we ordered: a traditional Jetsuns juicyburger with bacon. Sounds promising, huh?

And it looks good, too! But is it as delicious as it looks? and of course, it is a disappointing NO! You'd think the bacon would be a tasty addition to this already good-looking sort of bun but no, I hardly even tasted the bacon (or the beef for that matter!) The burger itself is so bland, it made the bun feel thicker and overwhelming. Anyway, we rate this baby a 1.75 and that's only because we ordered fries and gravy along with it which made this whole meal acceptable to our picky taste buds.

Our next destination:

Dangerous Dan's Diner (which apparently, holds the title for making the best burgers in Toronto)

I can't wait!

mmmm....salmon!

I've been ignoring the urge to buy new jeans and flowy tops to hide the flabby belly I seem to have acquired over the last two months. And though we're not completely unhealthy, there are still some changes that need to be made. Our "Labour Day Resolution": Cut down carbs and eat healthier. More and more people are noticing our rounder bellies and bigger frames and true enough, if we keep eating the same way, it won't be long until we have to buy a new wardrobe. So, healthier eating, here we come!

My very own version of Asian Salmon and Tuna Salad =)

ingredients:

your choice of greens (ours had romaine, iceberg, red cabbage and carrots. for a more "Asian" feel, try some spinach =))

grape tomatoes

cucumber

1 can of light tuna flakes

key ingredient: Litehouse Sesame Ginger Vinaigrette (only 35 calories for 2 tbsp!)

For the salmon:

half a lemon

a blend of your favorite spices (salt, pepper, basil, parsley, oregano, cumin, mustard, rosemary)

olive oil

instructions:

Marinate the salmon in lemon extract, olive oil and a blend of your favorite spices. Cook the salmon in medium heat until golden brown. Set aside.

In a bowl, blend your favorite greens, grape tomatoes and cucumber. Sprinkle half a can of light tuna on top. Place the salmon on top of your salad and finish off with Litehouse Sesame Ginger Vinaigrette. Enjoy! =)

Spice up your rice!

Looking for a twist on your plain white rice? Try this: add a little bit of "I can't believe it's not butter" margarine, garlic salt and a sprinkle of basil. Bon appetit!

new york, new york =)

It's been three days since we came back from our impromptu New York trip and I still don't think I'm truly, fully recovered. I think the fact that I have work the rest of the week has something to do with it. And yes, I am one of those who secretly hope there would come a time when I could just go on trips, spend ridiculous amount of money without ever having to work. Hehe. I'm either extremely optimistic, hopeful or just wishful thinking =P

We ventured and walked around Times Square and had our share of this delicious treat from an upscale frozen dessert franchise called Pinkberry. I wonder if we will ever get this in Toronto.

Anyway, back to our home, I have decided a few additions to our "Thank You" cards. I finally got some envelopes and hope to send these babies out by next week's end.

Don't you love the Martha Stewart-inspired bows?? Yay for new projects! =)

words unspoken...

It's been two weeks since we received our "thank you" postcards and now we're still just starting to write thank you notes. Our goal is to send them all out even before we celebrate our third month anniversary but seeing that it is already the middle of August, it may not be possible given the amount of thank you's we have to write.

We could be lazy and just pre-print standard thank you messages on the back of each card but we love the idea of handwritten notes. They seem much more sincere and personal and every bit appreciative which is appropriate for the kind of emotion we were hoping to express.

Here is a glimpse of our Thank You postcards:

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention. ~ Oscar Wilde

something new...

Life is like an ice cream cone. You have to lick it one day at a time.

-Charles M. Schulz

I've been working evenings for six straight days and on my final night, I'm rewarding myself by eating this:

I'm getting cross-trained to a new area and though it is still related to what I was doing before, it is unfamiliar to what I have gotten so used to. And just like everybody, I tend to resist change which makes the transition all the more confusing and frustrating. I feel like a fish out of water and most days, I feel my heart pulsating faster than its normal rhythm. It took me a year to get comfortable on my old unit and now, I'm back to the same situation of always doubting and second-guessing myself (which I hate).

I know eventually I'll get used to this new place, too and most likely even love it as much as the other place, but it's still taking me awhile to be able to just relax and breathe.

Speaking of something new, A's got new body art...

there's always room for cake =)

I love wedding cakes! And although we didn't really get to enjoy our wedding cake, I was so thrilled with the way it turned out. We provided Just Temptations with this picture:

the inspiration

and here is our wedding cake!

We found the cake topper on a random stroll at Michael's. It was so cute and different and although the bride was blonde and nowhere near my natural hair colour, we thought this was perfect for our cake.

wish tree

One of my favourite details at our wedding was the Wish Tree. We searched for a long time to find the perfect tree for people to hang their wishes on and it also took us awhile to decide and create the perfect wish cards to go with it. In the end, we decided on these three types: A regular wish card, a "Predict our Future" card and a "Give us your best advice" card.

I also enjoyed making flower pens for people to use to sign the wish cards.

Materials:

silk flower

scissors

gel pen (or any other pen you prefer)

green floral tape

regular clear tape

1. Cut about two inches of the stem.

2. With clear tape, tape your flower to the bottom edge of your pen.

3. Start winding the green floral tape beginning at the top and pressing hard to secure the tape in place.

4. Continue wrapping the pen with green floral tape at least twice before cutting the floral tape and pinching the edge where the tape ended.

It was really easy to make and we had the most fun reading the responses while on our flight to Florida. It's interesting to read what people had to write when given topics to talk about. Some interesting responses include:

lost and found

So, I'm uploading a video that was shown during the reception of our June 8 wedding. It was created in collaboration with Whereisthelaser? Productions presented as part of the wedding program. The funny thing is, we never actually saw the final edit before the big day and we didn't get to watch it the day of either because we had to take pictures for the opening of the sweet table buffet. Anyway, it was really well made and it represented just how much fun we had during the planning phase of our wedding.

Hanging out at M Studio the last couple of days reminded me of just how small the world really is and that eventually, we were bound to run into people from the past. I can't help but still feel guilty about deciding not to invite certain people even when the truth is, we haven't seen these people in years and to invite them would be more awkward than uninviting them. Anyway, I'm not about to hold grudges even when the cause of miscommunication was something that was essentially and potentially a cause of distress in the past. Can bridges that were broken ever be rebuilt or reconnected? I'm not sure. All I know is that, in the end, we have chosen to take paths thinking that we have made the best decisions possible and that even after all that, we stand by the decisions we made no matter what the consequences.

I still think about friends that I've "lost" along the way although, instead of wallowing in grief, I console myself by saying that I had made it though without them, just as their lives have gone on without me.

In hopes that I might end this post on a good note, I'm posting an old journal entry I came across about A, written on September 26 last year; tucked in the pages of my old and ratty 2007 journal:

I met him at a time in my life when I have given up all hope. Hope of finding the right one. Hope that I’ll make the right decisions when I do find the one. Hope that in spite of everything I’ve been through, I still deserve to find my happiness. Of course, at first, I wasn’t easily convinced. I had all these preconceptions of how it was all going to turn out. We’ll meet. He’ll pursue me for quite some time. I’ll circumvent and try to find a way out of it, but then, I’ll realize how lonely I’ve become and give in. I imagine myself slowly letting down my defences and finally admitting I’m ready to give it my all, all over again-- love like I’ve never been hurt.

I wanted to say to him, “If you knew what I went through, you’d understand why I hesitate.” But I didn’t need to because he, just like I, have been through it all. I guess that would always be one thing we have in common. We both have been in relationships that had left us dejected. We were broken souls trying to find meaning in the midst of our pains. We both knew what it felt to be defeated. We were the walking wounded. And as sad as it sounds, we found commonality in our hurts and pains. It was the common denominator that brought us together and made us hope for better things.

It didn’t take me long to see that I could possibly love him. He was after all, a mirrored image of myself. A broken man, as if he had been denied of the happiness he so deserved. I guess in a way, I felt he needed to be saved just as I needed someone to save me. He saw right through me, the way no one else had.

I wanted so much to believe that even after all that I’ve been through, I still deserve to be happy. I deserve to find that one love that God had intended for me to find. I’ve paid my dues. And indeed, I was continually rewarded even when I didn't think I deserved it. I was found.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake andthen subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. "

"Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two".- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

the meantime girl revisited - jan javier

I've recently come across this article from a random blog site. I admit. Every once in a while, I google my own name to see where my internet self has been and it always amazes me how far it has travelled. I wrote this a long time ago, way back into my teens about a boy I amazingly still remember. First launched at a site called Rice Cafe, published by a friend who cared enough to get my voice heard. Of course, I still wonder whether my meantime boy ever did get a clue although none of this matters now. It almost became a book and I still have remnants of its unfinished chapters. Whether I would ever finish it is a question still lingering in the air....


THE MEANTIME GIRL
No Pressure, No Worries
by Jan Javier

She’s the one you call when you need an instant date to your next company party. She’s the first person you can think of calling when you just had a fight with “the girl”. She willingly gives you the “woman’s perspective” on anything without getting all emotional and sentimental about every single thing. You love hanging out with her because, she’s funny, she’s quirky and for the meantime, she’s not interested in relationships which makes it perfect for you (she’ll joke about your “player” reputation instead of frowning about it). You love calling her because she doesn’t get into fights with you about why you didn’t call earlier or anything trivial like the way you dress, or why you put too much gel on your hair. You never have to try hard to look nice when you come and see her. Although she is not afraid to make fun of you and tell you how stupid you look with your new highlights. You never have to open doors for her or douse yourself with perfume because you know for sure, she will make fun of you. There’s no awkward silence in your conversations and you never have to worry about making stupid jokes just to fill the silence because you know, she will make you feel silly about your corny jokes.

Your relationship with the meantime girl is based more on silliness, wise cracks, insults and occasional flirting. You know she will make fun of you when tell her details of your rendezvous with “the girl” but you tell her anyway because it’s so much fun when you can laugh at something that seemed absurd at the time without bruising your ego. Plus, the stories become really funny anecdotes you can actually retell over and over again. It works both ways because she will tell you details of her dates with her exes and you crack each other up simply because her stories make you feel less of an idiot afterwards.

She’s actually quite a challenge to be friends with if not for her very engaging sense of humor. She can come up with a million definitions for “moron” and “idiot” and she’s not afraid to use them on you. She’s brutally honest and she hits you more times than you care to count. She will suggest books for you to read but expect that she will mess up the ending of books you haven’t read or even movies or TV shows you haven’t seen. She has PMS almost constantly and will insult you at every opportunity. She eats as much as you do and actually finishes her food when you eat out. She takes advantage of the fact that you can legally drive and with all the free dating tips she gives you, you feel obliged to be her personal chauffeur.

And of course, beyond her i-don’t-need-a-man exterior, she has that peculiar, almost adorable way of making you feel that what you say or do actually matters. You have mastered the art of taking note of every single little thing because she taught you that girls get gaga over these “little” things. She will help you pick out the perfect gift for “the one”. You now know the value of compliment even if it’s the simplest thing you can possibly come up with. And she made it easier to understand why girls can never have enough bags or shoes or lip gloss. Or why girls get so irritated at certain times of the month.

Your relationship with the meantime girl is perfect simply because you never have to try too hard to make it work – no emotional melodramas, no complex relationship stuff that always make you go crazy. At the same time, she has the sensitivity of a real best friend in a way that she can read you than most of the guys you’ve ever hung out with. She can tell almost instantly when you’re feeling bad about something and offer you a quick trip to the nearest coffee place so you can talk about emotional stuff without feeling like an idiot (strangely enough, these talks don’t feel as strangulating as when you have the “real talk” with the “real” girl). She is always available when you need to talk or to hang out with anyone else who can talk about anything other than basketball. And it’s almost amazing that you’ve never actually pictured her to take the place of “the girl” even when you can almost swear you two have had your “moments”. Of which, you can remember her giving you the don’t-you-dare-fall-in-love-with-me look that she seemed to have perfected over the years.

Admit it. Being with the meantime girl makes you think of being with “the one”; especially, because there’s something about her that you can’t seem to get enough of. The truth is, she is more attractive and smarter than most of the girls you’ve ever gone out with. You have been a witness of how she grew into this beautiful woman anyone would be crazy not to spend forever with. You’ve had moments when you try to convince yourself to think of her as the girl friend, the alternative to your guy friends, and not as a “real” woman who can take the place of “the girl”. And though in moments of heightened loneliness, you sometimes think of the possibility of something happening between you and the meantime girl but you are too scared to tell her how you feel. What you feel for her is something so difficult to define that it wouldn’t be fair to consider possibilities of anything romantic happening between the two of you. Plus, the fact that you know more about her personal life, i.e. her past dating experiences than any other guy, makes you feel that going beyond friendship would mean betraying her trust.

So instead, meantime boy, you prefer to keep quiet and enjoy the company of the meantime girl. It’s comforting because it’s safe. There are no expectations to take things to the next level. No pressure. No real worries. Plus, being with her has tested all your capabilities to be with “the one”. And when that time comes, you know that all the conflicting emotions you have for the meantime girl would dissolve. Though in the back of your mind, you hope that this “meantime-ness” would remain and that your meantime girl wouldn’t rush to be someone else’s forever. You’d hope she’ll be by your side to pick you up in case you fall down again. Really, there is no reason to doubt the value of her existence. You have reason to hope for the best in your future relationships. After all, you’ve had years and years of practice.

If you've gone this far, Please Read.

lost memories

I've recently lost all the contents of my ever-so-trusty laptop that suddenly decided it was time to dissipate and die. I bought it in August 2007 which meant that every single file, every single picture and maybe more of other things I have uploaded from the past, all gone.

You'd say, I should have known better, after all, technology is not always infinite and 100% reliable. The sad part is, just a couple of days ago before its demise, we had bought an external hard drive to help it carry its load and yet, the tragedy happened before we could even think about transferring its contents.

I guess worse things could have happened. Worse tragedies I can't even imagine being at and yet I can't help but feel sad. I know we will always be making new memories, that there will always be new things I can get excited about, new projects and ventures. But I feel like the memories that are lost are just as irreplaceable and irrecoverable as the demise of my hard drive.

Anyone who has pictures of us since August of 2007, your donations to our lost memories are more than welcome.

e-pics

haven't posted anything in a while so here are some of my favorite engagement pictures =) notice that none of them were up close because we had to send my ring for cleaning that week and we didn't get it back in time for this shoot. anyway, it worked out okay =)

shoes!

I added rhinestones to my wedding shoes.
Isn't it beautiful??

sweet love

I have acquired two new fonts and I can't wait to start using them for future projects!

It's not free but I don't care!

I am in love!

wedding stuff and then some =)

truth be told...

digital slrs = addicting!

hence the pictures. I've abandoned this blog for what seemed like forever, but i have a newly acquired hobby and I did intend to eventually blog about the craziness leading to our BIG day. It's amazing how many things I learned throughout the whole process and how much we enjoyed the planning phase of the door to the rest of our lives. Some people would throw their hands in the air and say they wouldn't want to go through this again, but I beg to differ. Which then brought me thinking if I can actually do this for other people. It's been fun and I almost don't want it to end.

Without further ado.....




our invitations =) handmade by A and yours truly



yey for wedding bands! =)


more ring shots and our ring pillow


wedding bubbles and personalized wedding coloring books for our mini guests =)


We had so much fun making each one and there's still room for so much more....