Monday, January 23, 2012

recollections of the past

Would you believe if I told you that I originally started a blog to inspire me to write more? Although this blog has sort of turned more into a photo blog, in the past, I've managed to blog solely for the purpose of writing and getting my thoughts and feelings out there. It was a way to let go of things that would have otherwise made me crazy if I kept thinking about them. It was a way to reach out to people who I wanted to say something to but could never get myself to really talk to. It was my escape.

Over the years, I realized that my blog had become more and more personal, self-deprecating even, that I knew I needed to learn to detach. Back in the day when I used to write about heartache, sadness and disappointments, I didn't really think of how being so open about my life in the web will affect my life outside the internet. And so I learned to detach. Instead of disappointments, I wrote about things I accomplished. I wrote about things I thought would be interesting to share. Instead of sadness, I wrote about things I thought were helpful and amusing. I wrote about things that I think people would be more interested in reading.

I can honestly say that I'm glad at how this blog has turned out. In my quest to write about interesting things, I taught myself to learn new things, to aim high and think about how I can make my blogposts better. I feel accomplished when I am able to successfully try a new recipe, or enhance my knowledge when I try new things. I feel as though I am able not simply to accomplish the task I have challenged myself to do, but also accomplish in documenting how I was able to do this particular task. It's something I can use to look back and see how much I've accomplished in my quest to better myself.

I found an old book I have compiled out of old online blogs. I am amused at how much more carefree and open I used to be when my feelings are concerned. I guess I miss that old me. The one that used to not care about what people would think if I wrote the things I really wanted to say. JM says "Knowing you'd be better off instead if you could only, say what you need to say." (If you haven't followed me enough, JM is John Mayer, my one true love -- don't tell A haha). Anyway, in light of the things I've realized lately, I think I will start a page in this blog to post some of my old stuff. Not to stir trouble, but more for recollection purposes. I think seeing my old stuff will also make me write more. And who knows maybe at the end of it all, there will be more lessons learned, more stories told. I could maybe even write a book.

So thank you, because your patronage has inspired me to be better everyday. I couldn't have done it without you.

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Thanks August Empress for the cool background!